So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
