it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
as a side note pls kill me
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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