she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There r osticjed everywhere
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
