am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
