Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
