just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
