Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
