so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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