It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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