Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
please come you make the beer taste better
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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