His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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