Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
