i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
