ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
this just has baby written all over it
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
