I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
