Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My dick has a subreddit
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
