So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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