Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
