3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
