Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?

(805): View more from California

Don't drive home.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.

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(303): View more from Colorado

normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.

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(503): View more from Oregon

i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking

(1-503): View more from Oregon

I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning

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(716): View more from New York

i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly

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(505): View more from New Mexico

You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night

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(520): View more from Arizona

When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.

(1-520): View more from Arizona

Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.

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(530): View more from California

I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.

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