Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
