I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
