remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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