The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
