I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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