She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
