dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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