I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
