I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
