i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
