I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
