The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
