I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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