four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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