she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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