Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
