All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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