I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
