Don't you send me to vm
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
