worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
