Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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