Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My penis needs a shock collar
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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