I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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