Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
nutella sex= disaster
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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