definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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