Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
