i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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