So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
