As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
