did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
